Getting rid of Gordon

It was Boris Johnson who came up with the perfect phrase to describe the current state of the Labour party - though he later had to apologise profusely, as so often: "a Papua New Guinea-style orgy of cannibalism and chief-killing". If my memory serves correctly, he was talking about the Conservatives at the time, which just goes to show how far things have changed. It's a long time since Papuans went in for cannibalism, and I'm not sure chief killing was ever really their thing, but presumably Boris had in mind the kind of savage rites so memorably described by Sir James Frazer in The Golden Bough. In various parts of the world - but mainly in Africa, as it happens - chiefs and kings would be put to death when their strength failed, or when the gods showed their displeasure through a series of bad harvests. For example:

The Jukos are a heathen tribe of the Benue river, a great tributary of the Niger. In their country, the town of Gatri is ruled by a king who is elected by the big men of the town as follows. When in the opinion of the big men the king has reigned long enough, they give out that "the king is sick" - a formula understood by all to mean that they are going to kill him, though the intention is never put more plainly. How long he has to reign is settled by the influential men at a meeting... The king is then told, and a great feast prepared, at which the king gets drunk on guinea-corn beer.

After that he is speared, and the man who was chosen becomes king. Thus each Juko king knows that he cannot have very many more years to live, and that he is certain of his predecessor's fate. This, however, does not seem to frighten candidates.

All strangely familiar. Such customs are quintessentially tribal, and we shouldn't be too surprised that the modern institutions that instinctively turn to purgative acts of patricide when the going gets tough are those that most closely resemble primordial tribes: political parties and football teams. But while changing their leader might make the Labour party feel better, if only briefly, it won't reduce the cost of fuel or the price of bread, it won't solve the problems in the health service caused by years of overfunding, and it won't fill the vast hole in the public finances. Some of these things are Brown's fault, and he thoroughly deserves the blame; others would face any leader. A caretaker leader, who shepherded the party to defeat in a few months' time (a quick election would be both politically unavoidable and unwinnable) would leave a miserable legacy. An untested new leader would become Labour's William Hague - promise squandered through too early fulfilment. Better to let Brown suffer.