Tuesday, 30 December 2008

We have a grandmother

Some belated Christmas cheer. I notice the new Palin has hatched. And it's a Tripp. Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, to be precise. Nice to see that Bristol is keeping up the family tradition of "creative" name-choosing (my guess is that the rather more sedate Easton Mitchell came from boyfriend Levi "I'm a fecking redneck" Johnston). A nephew for Track and Trig. Perhaps the couple are fans of Star Trek: Enterprise. Or perhaps there's some rule that says males born into the Palin family have to have made-up names beginning with Tr. The next two will presumably be Trailer and Trash. Still, Tripp sounds rather like a hostage to fortune - especially given that the new dad is already looking forward to taking the tot hunting. Don't trip over the rifle, Tripp. No word on any marriage plans, as yet - although a few months ago it was widely rumoured that the happy event would take place in November, when the couple could have re-created the Arnofini portrait.

The docu-soap that is the Palins hasn't reached the conclusion that some expected in the aftermath of Ma Palin's drubbing at the hands of the US electorate. Sarah herself is gloriously undimmed and as unselfconscious as ever, and is no doubt even now giving Gordon Brown tips on how to save the world. And new characters are still entering the show. Last week it turned out that young Levi has a mother, Sherry, who has been arrested for drug-dealing. Fresh embarrassment? Not necessarily: it is also reported that bidding for the baby photo exclusive, which had been mired at the $100,000 dollar mark, tripled when it emerged that Tripp has two newsworthy grandmas. Apparently one of Sherry's text messages was intercepted by the police in October, when the Palin/McCain campain was at its most high-profile (and minutely scrutinised). "Hey, my phones are tapped and reporters and God knows who else is always following me and the family so no privacy. I will let u no when I can go for cof" it ran. "Cof" is a codename for OxyContin, apparently. Isn't it nice the way these Wasilla women stick up for each other? Still, at least Bristol and Levi won't be short of cash for nappies.

I expect the Palins will be delighted that, thanks to the excruciatingly slow American transition period, little Tripp has come into the world under the auspicious Bush presidency. But it's hard to be sure. Oddly, according to the report, "Mrs Palin's office declined to comment on what it called a family matter." Not even "Todd and Sarah are delighted that their beloved daughter has been safely delivered of a boy-child"? The Palin's couldn't be part of the People magazine exclusive, could they?

Incipe, parve puer, risu cognoscere matrem.

3 comments:

valdemar squelch said...

Would it be childish for me to comment:

'Sarah and Heresiarch
Sittin' in a tree
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.'?

Yes, I suppose it would. Oh, and where do you stand on all the wonderful conspiracy theories as to which of Bristol's kids this one is - the first, or the second?

The Heresiarch said...

I won't dignify that with a response, Valdemar, except to note that Iain Dale's readers have voted SP as "sexiest female politician of the year" by a large margin. So there. And here was me assuming it would be Hazel Blears. The conspiracy theory to which you allude was the result of crossed-wires when rumours of Bristol's pregnancy were confused with SP becoming unexpectedly preggers while in office. As is usual with such theories, when the real facts emerged the troofers refused to let go of it, preferring to come up with ever-more-convoluted "explanations".

valdemar squelch said...

Fair enough. Sorry I posted this next question further down by mistake. Do you think The Paliban site is a spoof?

http://www.paliban.org/

It's the call for outright theocracy that I find rings a bit false, but what do I know? America is weird.