Joining the dots

Robert Mugabe, a man whose grasp on reality rivals that of Mohamed al Fayed, has been warning his people about the conspiratorial doings of the evil British government and its nefarious plans to reimpose colonial rule in Zimbabwe.

This is what he said in a speech today:

We need to maintain utmost vigilance in the face of vicious British machinations and the machinations of our other detractors, who are allies of Britain.

Whereas yesterday they relied on brute force to subjugate our people and plunder our resources, today they have perfected their tactics to more subtle forms by using money literally to buy some people to turn against their government. We are being bought like livestock.

And this is what he said last Saturday:

Brown is the world? ...I know Brown is a little tiny dot on this world.

At the time, I thought that summed up our prime minister quite accurately. But Bob can't have it both ways. Either Gordo's a criminal mastermind pulling the strings from somewhere behind a curtain of invisibility, or he's an insignificant dot. Judging by the impression he created in the US this week, I'm with the dot.


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